Satori Chocolate Bites
Sometimes I wonder if Willy Wonka went into the wrong line of work.
Certainly his skills as a confectioner are not to be questioned, but what if Wonka had decided to enhance his sweets? Well, aside from the Everlasting Gobstoppers and lickable wallpaper — which require no THC to do their jobs — they might look a lot like Satori’s Chocolate Bites. The days of edible companies staking their claim with one signature product are fading. People want options, and when it comes to Cannacraft’s Satori Chocolate Bites, you’ve got six of them. In this review, we’ll be looking at four, but for the completist, the two flavors not included here are Raisins in Organic Milk Chocolate (1 mg per serving) and Strawberries in Organic Milk Chocolate (3 mg per serving).
Goat Rock Roast Coffee Beans in Dark Chocolate (2 mg per serving)
Our first Satori entry offers the tried-and-true combination of coffee and chocolate. Let’s just get this out of the way up front: Satori knows how to make a tasty chocolate. I’ve always been partial to dark, and here, the flavor is not muddled with cannabis terpenes but has a hint of the fun to come — and without overpowering the palate. For most people, 2 mg is a relatively low dose, but it’s still advisable to start with one and go for another once you’re fully convinced the first bite has taken full effect. The experience was pleasant, if subtle. I am not one to mix edibles with other activities most of the time, but it stands to reason you’d likely be fine eating these coffee-bean bites without fear of derailing your day.
Highbush Blueberries in Dark Chocolate (2 mg per serving)
Fans of the popular brand Kiva Confections likely swear by the Blueberry Terra Bites that have become one of their biggest sellers. Satori enters the competition with Highbush Blueberries in Dark Chocolate, which trades the caffeine component of the Goat Rock Roast Coffee Beans above for a fruity complement to their signature rich, dark chocolate. Dosed at 2 mg per bite, you may be inclined to keep a box of both the coffee bean varietal and the blueberry bites handy depending on what time you need a quick fix. The Highbush Blueberries in Dark Chocolate seemed to work a little quicker on my system — perhaps coffee beans take longer to digest? — but yielded the same light but enjoyable effect.
Salted Caramel Almonds in Dark Chocolate (6 mg per serving)
It’s hard to go wrong with salt, caramel, almonds, and chocolate, and that quartet hits the mark with this one. Offering a nice crunch, these bites are straight-up delicious. However, eating too many is not advised, as these Salted Caramel Almonds in Dark Chocolate come in at a substantial 6 mg per piece. People who are easily affected by edibles may find the high a bit strong, but more seasoned consumers should be pleased with this higher-dose alternative. The experience yielded lots of giggles and Netflix viewing, but did not — at least for this reviewer — itself to creativity or a desire to explore. That said, Satori has created what may in fact be the ideal rainy-day treat.
Salted Caramel Cacao Beans in Dark Chocolate (10 mg per serving)
Holy shit, these things are strong. The equivalent of eating five Goat Rock Roast Coffee Beans or Highbush Blueberries at once, it’s probably fair to say the Salted Caramel Cacao Beans in Dark Chocolate are for serious consumers only. The flavor is lovely, balancing the caramel’s sweetness with the bitter taste of cacao. Make sure you savor the one bite you eat, because anyone who goes for a second serving is going to be in trouble. The high took a while to kick in, but when it did, it would be fair to say I was borderline-incapacitated for several hours. While the three preceding entries in this review may be considered optimal for recreational use, I’m going to go ahead and say this final offering is really best left to medical patients in need of a strong dose of THC for reasons much more dire than boredom.
Satori Chocolate Bites by CannaCraft. $18; satorichocolates.com.