Getting a Little Anal

Some smartass has figured out a way for cannabis users to enjoy the pleasures of marijuana by sticking it in your anus. When SF Evergreen discovered that cannabis anal suppositories were available, we busted our ass to get some and give them a try.

You may have heard of people taking psilocybin, LSD, or MDMA via rectal injection, using the rationale that this gets you higher, faster. Supposedly, this effect also extends to cannabis.

And researchers say there are no ifs, ands, or butts about it.

“Rectally is actually a lot more preferred, because of the volume of absorption,” George Washington University medical director Dr. Mikhail Kogan told the CBC. “You can put a lot more and it gets absorbed a lot better.”

For medicinal patients, methods other than smoking cannabis have the obvious upside of being easier on your throat and lungs. Even edibles are somewhat inefficient, because there so many variables within your digestive system that interfere with the cannabis’ psychoactive elements.

Putting drugs in your butt is the most “bio-availabe” method of delivery, meaning your body absorbs drugs in your rectum faster than it does through other methods.

But finding marijuana suppositories is a pain the ass. SF Evergreen called all 11 dispensaries that the website of sensual cannabis product company Foria listed as carrying the suppository Explore. None had it.

But the BASA Collective on Divisadero Street did carry a different cannabis suppository from Alive Botanicals. (Delivery site GetGreen- Wings.com also carries a suppository from Sacred Medicinals.)

“We don’t take returns on those,” our budtender wisecracked.

Alive Botanicals has two different types of suppositories, one that is all-CBD and another with a 1:1 ratio of THC to CBD. Being fans of a head high, we took the 1:1 version to see if marijuana up the butt really does get you high.

Suppositories in hand, SF Evergreen was ready to put their efficacy to the test — and assfuck ourselves with a Colt “pumper” butt plug that plumps to a width of 3.5 inches.

The suppositories themselves are about an inch long and packaged like tiny little rockets. Removing the packaging, each suppository had a waxy surface that didn’t require any lube for its insertion.

The suppositories’ instructions say to lie on your left side and slide it right in. Hilariously, Alive Botanicals’ instructions also say, “The parent/ caregiver may have to gently hold a child’s buttocks closed.”

Once you poke the suppository into your anus, your bunghole automatically sucks it right in, and the suppository dissolves inside you. We aren’t sure how quickly that happens, and we didn’t really want to go feeling around to see how long it was taking.

The heady effect of the THC kicked in less than five minutes after we stuck the suppository in our butt. Alive Botanicals puts 21 grams of THC in each one, which hit very quickly and felt more like 50 grams. The feeling takes a little longer to set in on your rear end. And it’s not a sense of numbness, but instead a pleasurable, warm tingle that introduces another sensual element of fun to butt play.

The pumpable butt plug with which we sodomized ourselves didn’t hurt any less, but the suppository delivered a fun new angle to the experience. Obviously, it helps if you enjoy getting fucked in the ass. The cannabis suppository doesn’t do much to directly counteract the initial pain of sphincter penetration, but adds a kick-ass dash of extra spice to anal play.

If you’re looking for a topical to make it hurt less when you’re getting pounded in the butt, marijuana suppositories won’t be up your alley. Surprisingly, the head buzz was more prominent than the rectal sensation when using the THC-CBD combo suppository.

But — and there’s always a but — cannabis suppositories absolutely kick in faster than edibles, and even a little more quickly than high-end kind bud. When it comes to putting a marijuana suppository in your rectum, SF Evergreen gives it a “Thumbs Up.”